• Last updated 1 hour ago
Babe… show me what you can do with your hands
Kim Jong-un deliberately faked his death to expose traitors in his circle: R… everyone who celebrated: We're all gonna die!
Man with Alzheimer's forgets he had Alzheimer's, remembers everything
The principal asking if I know why I'm here The principal who forgot why I'm here Me who made fun of the principal's Alzheimer's
My mom thinking about who keeps using all the shampoo 7 yo me making potions in the bathroom
Pizza rolls in the oven VS. the microwave
9y/o me closing the fridge door slowly to try and see the light go off:
Raise your hand if 97% of the contacts in your phone are useless
Day 5 of quarantine: Found a dead fly
This man took around 14 or 15 poor kids to McDonalds with his first paycheck. Everyone liked that
Watch out for this
The biggest flex is using mobile data in your own home because Wi-Fi is being slow
When your girlfriend takes her top off but the antidepressants have killed your sex drive TITTIES, YES. I REMEMBER
REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU? EPSTEIN DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF
'Did you get stuck?' 'No, I'm delivering a fucking bridge.'